but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
