Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize