i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
