Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
