so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the condom got lost in my hair
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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