so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
