4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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