if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
