She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
