you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
