Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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