Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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