I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
