I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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