U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
