I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
