This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
