I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
