we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
