I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
