Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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