member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
So many bounce houses so little time
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
