Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
