Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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