Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
