she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
whose parrot is this?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
