but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
