Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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