Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
