its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
