Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
