Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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