it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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