I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
