Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
