a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
