he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
