i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My cat gives me a boner
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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