but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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