is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
