Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
