We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
