I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
