Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize