i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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