Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
