So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
