At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
