I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
