did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
