I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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