so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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