yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
