i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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