we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I love having hate sex.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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