just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
