ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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