somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I have demons in me.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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