Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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