i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
