You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize