So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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