Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize